SCAD to give David LaChapelle another toilet award!

“[Paula Wallace] is an incredibly savvy businesswoman who’s incredibly greedy and self-serving…for someone to profit off these kids’ dreams, that’s really sad.” —Photographer and filmmaker David LaChapelle

SCAD to give LaChapelle another toilet award!

After Celebrity Recognizes Business Prowess of Paula Wallace

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, “David LaChapelle, a fine-art photographer and film director from Los Angeles, had never heard of SCAD before last spring.”

Now that he has won his SCAD étoile, an award used to lure aging fashion icons to SCAD on their way to Miami, he is furious that our Dear Leader used him to promote her bank account, and the laughable claim that SCAD runs a world-class fashion department.

But SCAD sees it differently:

“He did say that our Dear Leader was a savvy business women. For that reason alone, we should honor LaChapelle with this year’s ultra exclusive, SCAD e’Toilet award.” chirped Jesus Lagartija, SCAD’s lovable, plump, and simple-minded dean of the school of design.

The SCAD e’Toilet is awarded to those special celebrities who say “yes please!” before researching the organization that is giving them an award, an all-paid vacation to Savannah GA, and use of the SCAD private jet to visit Lacoste France.

The award itself is hand-crafted from Wallace family kidney stones, and filled with Dear Leader’s tears.

LaChapelle will be the 78th celebrity to be given this honor.

The SCAD e’Toilet also comes with a copy of Dear Leader’s book,The Despot and the Piggy-Bank, a bag of fried pickles, and a lifetime subscription to The Southern Porch.

LaChapelle will not speak at the awards ceremony, and will instead be treated to one of Dear Leader’s famous southern clog dancing performances.  This year’s clog dance is inspired by traditional lizard mating rituals, and will be performed on a mock-porch.

Dear Leader enthusiastically agreed to grant this years SCAD E’Toilet to David saying… “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on SCADSECRETS.com are parodies.  All content on SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

IRS Audits Savannah College of Art and Design!

SCAD NEEDS YOUR HELP as Government Thugs Invade Savannah Campus!
Savanah College of Art and Design (SCAD) has been invaded by the IRS. A loathsome group of Federal Bureaucrats are auditing SCAD over alleged “financial irregularities” and “misappropriation” of tuition dollars.

Calling All Bees!
The IRS is a formidable foe. The IRS agents have managed to tape together documents faster than SCAD has been able to shred them.

SCAD has issued plea to all SCAD BEES “Return to Savannah!” and help SCAD in the shredding of incriminating documents.

What is at STAKE?
We must preserve” SCAD’s alleged tradition of using student tuition money in any way they see fit.

Traditions like:

  1. Paying our Dear Leader $250,000.00 a month.
  2. Gifting free flights to France and NYC on private aircraft for SCAD Board members, their friends, and their families,
  3. Paying millions to the Dear Leader’s children, her ’husband,’ her special ‘lady friend’ and her extended family,
  4. Keeping Dear Leader in Louis Vuitton clogs, custom wigs, and facial surgery upkeep,
  5. The hiring of private investigators to gather negative intel on “rouge” faculty and administrators,
  6. Paying for the off-site storage to house negative intel files of “rouge” faculty and administrator (see #5),
    and;
  7. Supporting Dear Leader’s addle-brained son, Tik with a $25,00.00 a month salary.

These are a few of the perks that must be hidden in order to preserve SCAD’s unique and special culture.

Savannah College of Art and Design IRS Audit

 

 

This is EVERY BEE’s Emergency! (the Acorns have nothing to worry about)
Current students have a huge financial stake in outcome of this investigation.

Any fines levied against SCAD by the IRS might be raised through tuition increases and additional student fees.

All BEE paper-shredding volunteers are asked to report to Lai Wa Hall (after nightfall) Monday-Friday.

SCAD 2013 Compensation

 

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

The Despot and the Piggy-Bank: A Memoir

The Despot and the Piggy-Bank
A Memoir by
Paula “Our Dear Leader” Walrus

In 1977,
“… the world was ready for something new,” writes the seventy-three year-old Paula Walrus, Savannah College of Art and Design President and Co-founder.

“All around us, dreamers were dreaming up new ideas: My extended family had just covered-up a serious pedophilia scandal, and my clog dancing days were long over. I was pushing forty when I discovered the benefits of government-backed student loans.”

What happened next would change the face of education. By joining Stalinist principles of management, obscene tuition costs, with the facade of higher learning—Paula managed to create for herself and her family a lucrative piggy-bank.

In The Despot and the Piggy-Bank, we journey with Walrus and her family to the crime-ridden coastal town of Savannah, where they set about creating the appearance of a university.

This tiny college would be radically different, buzzing with grossly under-qualified administrators, and abused faculty— Walrus forever altered what education should be.

Nearly forty years later, SCAD is one of the most tastefully decorated, over-hyped, and expensive art and design universities in the world, with dwindling campuses in Georgia, a Chinese ghetto, a farm in France, and online.

The Despot and the Piggy-Bank tells the story of how it all happened—from the special ‘woman’ at the center of it all.

http://thebeeandtheacorn.com

Paula Wallace SCAD Master Bull Wrangler and Fasionista
Paula Walrus fancies herself as a visionary leader in art and design.

About the author
Ghost writer to the ’C’ and ‘D’ celebrity set—Ralph Mittlebottom of the NYT, spent three years sculpting Ms. Walrus’s crayon-infused chicken scratch of random nouns and occasional verbs into the semblance of the book you now hold in your hands.

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

SCAD(ly) Madison

BREAKING NEWS: Pyongyang, Savannah.
Dear Leader, and President of the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) took to the airwaves this morning to clarify why an estimated $18,742.87 of student tuition funds were used to pay for multiple Ashley Madison (Life is short, have an affair!) accounts.

It turns out that the Ashley Madison accounts tied to SCAD administrators were used for “academic research.”

The top administrators opened Ashley Madison accounts to test the effectiveness of the Ashley Madison ‘girl-bots,’ robotic users used to lure men into paying for membership to the Ashley Madison website.

“SCAD has been experimenting with the idea of replacing current faculty with ‘Faculty-Bots’ for many years now,” said Molly Mindful, Director of University Expansion, “All the tuition funds spent on Ashley Madison by the university administrators was used to explore the feasibility of such a scheme.”

The SCAD office of Public Appearance and Prettiness also issued a statement assuring the SCAD community that the Ashley Madison accounts are not related to the ongoing lawsuit involving inappropriate liaisons between SCAD administrates and members of the SCAD student body.

 

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Southern Gothic: SCAD’s strange connection to Georgia’s most prolific pedophile

Southern Gothic: SCAD’s strange connection to Georgia’s most prolific pedophile

SCAD’s Dear Leader, and proud member of the Poetter clan, would like for her legacy to be that of “America’s Arts Educator.” In light of the recent allegations that SCAD is covering up sexual assaults on campus, she may be remembered for something more.

On a recent radio interview with Wild Man Johnny B (KSMT Radio morning host), Dear Leader gleefully recounted how her first book, Johnny on the Porch with Grandpa provided her the seed money she needed when she and May Poetter founded the Savannah College of Art and Design.

SCAD’s origin story has been untarnished and pristine for the past 34 years. Untarnished that is until recently, when a group of miscreant investigators uncovered what may turn out to be a much darker and uglier story of where the seed for SCAD’s business plan MAY have originated.

This story begins with a man some call “Georgia’s most prolific pedophile,” but whom Dear Leader refers to as “Kin.”

The business model for a private school, run by one family, carefully guarded with a hand-picked, well paid board of directors has been a lucrative formula for Dear Leader’s family for over 50 years. The architect for such a model may have been none other than Louis J. ’Doc’ Poetter.

Below is a short timeline of alleged events that would make V. C. Andrews, Dear Leader’s favorite author, blush.  (see end of post for Atlanta Journal article full text)

1962:  Doc Poetter founds Anneewakee (Cherokee for “Land of Friendly People”) as an adolescent psychiatric care institution specializing in “wilderness therapy” for troubled youth. Family makes up a large body of administrative personnel.

1970:  Doc Poetter is removed as administrator of the facility following a state Department of Human Resources (DHR) investigation of alleged sexual misconduct with male patients. The investigation is not made public and Doc Poetter remains executive director.

1970—July 1986: Doc Poetter is accused of molesting boys in his care, as well as transporting boys to his property in Mexico for similar purposes. Court documents reveal that Doc Poetter subscribed to a theory that boys “had to have a homosexual experience in order to work through their homosexual fear.”

Psychologists and other staff who worked with Doc Poetter at the Anneewakee school testified that the Doctor encouraged sex between faculty members and the boys, as well as participating himself.

September 1970: Dear Leader pens her first best seller, The Clogs they are a Changing, and other South Georgian Meditations.

From as early as 1970, members of Doc Poetter’s family are employed by the school and receive property lease payments from the school in excess of 100k per year while Doc Potter continues to ‘oversee’ operations at the school.

1978: Independently of Doc Poetter, May Poetter, (former trustee of SCAD) flush with cash, co-founds the Savannah College of Art and Design with Dear Leader.

The Savannah College of Art and Design sets up an organizational structure that some claim is eerily similar to the Anneewakee school (family are employed as administrators, a close-knit and easily controlled board is established, money begins to roll in).

January 1980: Dear Leader retires from the Southern Clog Dancing circuit after huge win in Tijuana.  Dear Leader sets her focus to the day-to-day operations of the university while raising her two gifted children in the attic of a ramshackle house at The Landings.

October 1986: six victims of alleged physical and sexual abuse from Anneewakee file suit charging facility officials, including Doc Poetter and Moore, with racketeering to defraud and abuse patients.

Doc Poetter charged by Douglas Sheriff Earl Lee with three counts of sodomy, one count of cruelty to children and one count of simple battery. At the time, Poetter is believed to be in Mexico City with a group of underage boys in his care. Carl Maxwell Moore, Poetter’s chauffeur, is charged with sodomy.

Psychologists and other staff who worked with the Poetters at Anneewakee testifiy that Doc Poetter encouraged sex between staff members and the boys, as well as participating himself.

Doc Poetter is also charged with stealing $29,500 in Anneewakee funds to buy land for “personal use” in Mexico.

Later that year Dear Leader cancels plans for student clog dancing exchange program in Tijuana. Citing lack of adequate accommodations in host city.

November 1986: Nine young women, ages 19 to 24, sue Anneewakee, charging the hospital with racketeering and conspiracy to abuse them sexually and physically, and defraud them financially. Doc. Poetter released after five weeks in the Douglas County Jail when friends and supporters raise his $1 million bond.

One year later, 1987, Doc Poetter is indicted in Douglas County on 22 more sodomy counts dating from 1971. His wife, Mable and his son-in-law James Henry Evans are charged with failure to report child abuse.

By the end of 1987 there are 10 criminal defendants in the case.

April, 1988: Doc Poetter pleads guilty to 19 counts of sodomy with former patients.  He is sentenced to eight years in prison, 12 years probation. He Appeals this conviction in 1999 seeking to Overturn Sodomy Conviction in Anneewakee Attacks.

1989: After 10-week trial, Fulton Superior Court jury awards $5.2 million to three young women made to work as construction laborers.

1990: Dear Leader begins work on statue to commemorate her service to Savannah.  SCAD sculpture department closes soon after.

The Poetter Fortune?
How much money was siphoned from the Anneewakee school by the Poetter family is not clear from the court documents, however, in 1982, court records show that the private school paid over $230,000 in salaries to Doc. Poetter, his wife, two daughters and two sons-in-law, and the school had a surplus of about $2.9 million at year’s end.

Dear Leader claims that her series of Johnny on the Porch with Grandpa books where a runaway success—bringing in “more than enough money to found an art school.”  She also claims that the sale of her yellow VW bug to ‘Cooter’, a southern mechanic par excellence, helped cover SCAD’s first year operating expenses (apparently yellow bugs fetch high prices in Savannah).

Some investigators are not convinced. With rumors swirling of Dear Leader’s imminent retirement, growing financial crises at the art school, and the upcoming release of her anticipated memoir and coloring book— D.L.—Porch Talks with America’s Arts Educator, tensions are running high at SCAD.

“These stories about deviant sexual behavior in Dear Leader’s Family history are total poppycock!” declared SCAD’s Director of Public Pronouncements, Hyacinth Bucket. “And the idea that any of Dear Leader’s Family—educators to the core—would ever consider profits over students…is an insult to every artist who teaches at SCAD for very little money and no job security. We do it because we love the kids.”

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to celebrate the great outdoors stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

 

•••

OBITUARIES: T.M. Jim Parham, Carter aide, social reformer

BYLINE: By Kelleigh Scott STAFF WRITER

DATE: 12-15-1996

PUBLICATION: The Atlanta Journal and Constitution

EDITION:

SECTION: Newspapers_&_Newswires

PAGE: G10

The memorial service for T.M. Jim Parham, a former aide to President Jimmy Carter and three Georgia governors, will be held at 3 p.m. Tuesday at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Atlanta.

Mr. Parham died Friday of complications from a stroke at St. Joseph’s Hospital. He was 69 and lived in Decatur.

The body was donated to the Emory School of Medicine.

Mr. Parham grew up in an impoverished family in one of Atlanta’s company-owned cotton mill neighborhoods, said his wife, Dorothy Spears Butler of Decatur. “He didn’t know he was poor until he moved out of the cotton mill village,” she said.

Mr. Parham’s humble beginnings had a profound effect, Mrs. Parham said. Throughout his life, she said, he served as an advocate for social reform, particularly pertaining to children.

In 1977, Carter selected Mr. Parham to be a White House special assistant for intergovernment relations. He later moved to the Department of Health, Education and Welfare as deputy assistant secretary in the Office of Human Development Services.

“He was a man of enormous passion,” said Jack Watson, who served as White House chief of staff during the Carter Administration. “His passion was reflected in his works for underprivileged people of every age and every circumstance.

“He was one of the most practical, compassionate and eloquent men I’ve ever known,” Mr. Watson said.

Gov. Carl Sanders named Mr. Parham to head the state’s then-new Division for Children and Youth in 1963. In 1971 he was appointed Director of the Department of Family and Children’s Services. And in 1975 he was named commissioner of human resources by Gov. George Busbee.

“There was no such thing as a lost cause or person. Jim never gave up,” said Bill Jamison, a close friend and former colleague at the Georgia Department of Human Resources.

Mr. Parham also taught social welfare at the University of Georgia.

After retiring from the university system in 1994, he served as board president of Emmaus House, where he recently had been working on expanding the children’s programs.

“Jim was particularly disturbed by the negative impact on children which he saw as a byproduct of recent changes in the welfare system,” said Emmaus board member Panke Bradley Miller.

“I asked my husband one time what he’d like to be remembered for, and he said his work for children,” Mrs. Parham said.

Surviving in addition to his wife are two daughters, Vicki P. Deyton of Newnan and Nancy P. Buckler of Peachtree Corners; a stepdaughter, Eileen Butler Gady of Marietta; a stepson, Franklin T. Butler of Douglasville; a sister, Barbara P. Turner of Duluth; and seven grandchildren.

In lieu of flowers, donations should be sent to The Emmaus House Foundation, 1017 Capitol Ave. S.W., Atlanta, Ga. 30315.

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Chronology of Anneewakee events, 1962-89

BYLINE:

DATE: 03-20-1990

PUBLICATION: The Atlanta Journal and Constitution

EDITION:

SECTION: Newspapers_&_Newswires

PAGE: A/12

– 1962: Louis J. Poetter founds Anneewakee as an adolescent psychiatric care institution specializing in wilderness therapy.

-1970: Poetter is removed as administrator of the facility following a state Department of Human Resources (DHR) investigation of alleged sexual misconduct with male patients. The investigation is not made public, and Poetter remains executive director.

-July 1, 1986: Poetter resigns as Anneewakee board chairman, remains executive director.

-Mid-August 1986: Douglas County Sheriff’s Department and GBI begin examining allegations of patient abuse.

-Oct. 1, 1986: Poetter charged by Douglas Sheriff Earl Lee with three counts of sodomy, one count of cruelty to children and one count of simple battery. At the time, Poetter is believed to be in Mexico City. Carl Maxwell Moore, Poetter’s chauffeur, is charged with sodomy.

-Oct. 5, 1986: Poetter surrenders to authorities.

-Oct. 6, 1986: DHR begins its Anneewakee investigation.

-Oct. 9, 1986: Six victims of alleged physical and sexual abuse file suit charging facility officials, including Poetter and Moore, with racketeering to defraud and abuse patients.

-Oct. 14, 1986: Douglas deputies arrest James C. Womack, co-director of therapeutic services, and charge him with “numerous counts of sodomy.”

-Oct. 17, 1986: Daniel T. Herrera, an Anneewakee employee, charged with cruelty to children. Second group of alleged victims sues.

-Oct. 30, 1986: Poetter charged with stealing $29,500 in Anneewakee funds to buy land for personal use in Mexico.

-Nov. 3, 1986: Robert Lee Winebarger, former group leader, charged with sodomizing young male patient between January 1978 and January 1980.

-Nov. 7, 1986: Nine young women, ages 19 to 24, sue Anneewakee, charging the hospital with racketeering and conspiracy to abuse them sexually and physically, and defraud them financially. Poetter released after five weeks in the Douglas County Jail when friends and supporters raise his $1 million bond.

-Nov. 21, 1986: Twenty-two former Anneewakee patients sue the hospital, naming Poetter, board chairman Jim Parham and other current and former trustees as defendants. This is the fourth suit against the facility and the first to name Parham as a defendant.

-Jan. 25, 1987: Subsidiary of Hospital Corp. of America – HCA Psychiatric Co. -agrees to take over the day-to-day operations of the three Anneewakee facilities. Arrangement prevents the state Department of Human Resources from revoking the facility’s license.

-Feb. 27, 1987: Poetter indicted in Douglas County on 22 more sodomy counts dating from 1971.

-March 6, 1987: Poetter, his wife, Mable, and his son-in-law, James Henry Evans, charged with failure to report child abuse. By now, there are 10 criminal defendants in the case.

-March 8, 1987: HCA Psychiatric Co. signs five-year agreement to manage the camps. That same week, the parents of a former patient sue in federal court in At lanta over dispute in therapy time. Fifth civil action.

-April 8, 1988: Poetter pleads guilty to 19 counts of sodomy with former patients, sentenced to eight years in prison, 12 years probation.

-Oct. 10, 1989: First of six civil trials begins in Fulton County. To date, there are eight lawsuits, 131 plaintiffs and 31 defendants.

-Dec. 19, 1989: After 10-week trial, Fulton Superior Court jury awards $5.2 million to three young women made to work as construction laborers.

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SCAD Covering Up Sexual Assaults on Campus?

SCAD Covers Up Sexual Assaults on Campus?
Fearing another steep decline in freshmen admissions, SCAD’s matriarch and beloved ‘Dear Leader,’  has formed a workgroup to stem the rise of sexual assaults in Savannah.

Led by Dear Leader’s attorney, Regis Smallprint (North Georgia’s ‘Think’n Man’s Lawyer’) the SCAD workgroup revealed a comprehensive sexual assault prevention initiative titled: C.R.U.D. (College Rape Under-Reporting Directive) to the sleepy, disheartened Faculty.

“The committee’s focused on this issue like a wet fart on silk panties,” said Smallprint “we have secretly implemented it as I speak.”

The solution that Mr. Smallprint refers to is now the subject of a lawsuit brought by whistle-blower, Bobby Zarem, founder of the Savannah Film Festival. Mr. Zarem is suing SCAD for what he claims was his improper dismissal for reporting the sexual assault of four women on SCAD’s campus.

“Four women had come to me and said they were sexually assaulted [on campus]… I went to warn [SCAD president] Paula Wallace. She told me she was going to launch an investigation. Instead, she launched a coverup.” Said Zarem in an interview with Page Six.

“Mr. Zarem is not correct” squeaked Ms. Georgette Baxter, SCAD’s Associate Brand Manager and Student Liaison,

“Sexual assault is ugly… SCAD is pretty, it’s better if we just remove everyone involved… Poof! Pretty!”

It was not clear at publication how many, if any, students who reported sexual assaults have been ’pushed out’ of SCAD rather than having their claims investigated.

In preparation of student protests, SCAD’s Dear Leader has declared that all students are to leave their mattresses in the dorm rooms.

Any student carrying a mattress around with him/her while on SCAD property will be immediately transferred to the Art Institute of Charleston.

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged the SCAD community to prevent forest fires stating “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies.All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, A university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

SCAD Pretty Police declares photos of sick mother “Gross.”

SCAD Pretty Police declares photos of sick mother “Gross.”

Tiny Voice, one of Dear Leader’s worker bees, posted photos of her mother’s battle with cancer on Tiny Voice’s  social media accounts. When Tiny Voice’s  posts were discovered by the Savannah College of Art and Design’s Pretty Police—she was ordered to remove all references to her grandmother and mother’s battle with cancer because:

“Photos of bald women fighting cancer are gross—they do not fit with SCAD’s Brand Promise. As a SCAD employee, you do not have personal interests outside SCAD!”

Tiny Voice was told to take down her social media posts or to resign her position immediately.

Back story:
Earlier this year, Tiny Voice created a site honoring her family’s successful battle with breast cancer. Tiny Voice posted photos of her mother and grandmother—two courageous and strong women—as they endured the ravages of chemotherapy. She also documented their victory over cancer, and posted links that allowed visitors to donate money for cancer research.

“It was a labor of love,” said Tiny Voice, “I felt that the world needed to see how the support of a strong family, the care of wonderful doctors and a close relationship with God can lead to a successful cancer treatment plan.”

This personal crusade could have gone on indefinitely where it not for the benevolent intervention of Glenn Angora, Dear Leader’s beard, former SCAD Student, and well-known Savannah Grinder aficionado.

Enter the SCAD Pretty Police Surveillance Machine:
Mr. Angora quickly pulled together all the personal photos and comments Tiny Voice had posted over the past year and confronted her with the evidence.

“I remember the day my personal life was exposed,” said Tiny Voice, “I was brought into the office. All my private online activity had been printed out and was laid out on the table in the office for all to see. It was a horrifying and shaming process—It was then that I realized I had failed our Dear Leader.”

“We have been watching you… Would you care to explain this?” Glen Angora asked…

“What could I say?” I thought… “I posted all that un-pretty cancer-related material on the web for the whole world to see… and I’m sure that posting it had an effect on SCAD’s sinking enrollment numbers. I immediately saw how selfish I had been” Tiny Voice confessed.

After a week at SCAD re-education Camp #9, Tiny Voice has had time to reflect on her sins against the SCAD Brand-Promise:

“I was so busy trying to honor cancer survivors that I forgot my real job, that of documenting and recording what the SCAD faculty were posting on their Facebook, Twitter, and personal blog—I let the SCAD brand promise down, and more importantly, I let Dear Leader down.”

On a positive note: Tiny Voice is expected to graduate first in her re-education class this week. After which she will return to Lai Wa Hall  armed with new tools enabling her to better monitor SCAD faculty online activities. Scad Secrets wishes her the best.

“I am so grateful for my second chance.” gushed a tearful Tiny Voice, “I am now better equipped to spy on—er.. Pa-Troll’ SCAD faculty online activities because of this experience.”

Do you have your own ‘Pretty Police’ or SCAD Surveillance story to tell? Send it in confidence to our private super secret contact form here (seriously, we don’t have any way of telling who sent us what).

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged the SCAD community to monitor each other’s online activity stating “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies.All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, A university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

SAVE SAVANNAH SCULPTURE

The home campus of the Savannah College of Art and Design is trying to get rid of our sculpture department and building, Boundary Hall. In an attempt to explain their decision, the administration quotes that it is “for a more efficient use of resources across our four campuses”. We need to let them know that this fine art department matters and this building is our home.

SCAD offers a sculpture minor at its Savannah campus, with the major being held in Atlanta. Most students get their first taste of Boundary Hall in their 3D design classes, a required foundations class for most majors. The building welcomes you with an eclectic gallery that always displays a plethora of art works, from found objects to 3D prints and cast metal sculptures. This refreshing variety and enthusiastic display of experimentation and creativity continues to captivate you as you walk through Boundary’s open studios and wood shop. Its contagious passion and joy is undeniably the reason for countless sculpture exhibitions and events, prosperous commissions and fine art careers, serendipitously changed majors, and the providential formation of amazing friendships and memories. In removing the sculpture program and Boundary Hall, SCAD is not just giving up a building, they are eradicating the potentiality of a student to fortuitously stumble upon a deliquescent passion, one that could change their life as it has so many of ours. The fact that sculpture is only a minor here in Savannah does not justify the abandonment of its walls or students. Something needs to be done and we need to be heard.
The art student that should be, and is so rare, is the one whose life is spent in the love and the culture of his personal sensations, the cherishing of his emotions, never undervaluing them, the pleasure of exclaiming them to others, and an eager search for their clearest expression.
-Robert HenriThe Art Spirit

Savannah Makes SCAD President’s Wig Style Mandatory

It is now mandatory for faculty in Savannah to get the same haircut as the benevolent dictator and matronly president of Savannah College of Art and Design, Dear Leader.

Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD), the ‘secretive university’ impoverished faculty are sure to be flocking to the barbers Wednesday, as the SCAD-sanctioned guidelines were reportedly rolled out university-wide.

Savannah College of Art and Design clearly has its priorities right, dismissing accusations of crimes against faculty and monitored faculty free speech to instead focus on the introduction of the compulsory boxy, mushroom-esque hair do.

Previously, among SCAD’s many university-inflicted horrors, faculty were only allowed to choose from 18 styles for women and 10 for men.

SCAD’s university TV launched a campaign against long hair and jeans, called “Let us trim our hair and shed our jeans in accordance with the SCAD lifestyle” – see instructional dystopian nightmare video below.

[ct_video title=”SCAD instructional dystopian nightmare video” type=”youtube” id=”4c92fYmL0ro”] SCAD’s university TV launched a campaign against long hair and jeans, called “Let us trim our hair and shed our jeans in accordance with the SCAD lifestyle” [/ct_video]

Unsurprisingly, many have reservations about being indignantly forced into having a SCAD Universty controlled bouffant hairstyle.

“Our Leader’s wig is very particular, if you will,” one source told Radio Free Savannah.

“It doesn’t always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes.”

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged the SCAD community to purchase an official SCAD wig stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

 

Turn-in your professor: SCAD has an App for that!

Savannah College of Art and Design’s new Dean of Academic Services—Christo “the Don” Conquistador—has great plans for his burgeoning department.

“We are busy implementing a real-time reporting app for students,” says the giddy Dean. “Starting in Spring quarter, it will be even easier for students to report professors they don’t like to the administration—SCAD will have an App for that!”

“We are calling our new program: the SCAD  College Reporting Annoying Professors App or  SCAD C.R.A.P. App.

SCAD CRAP App is a revolutionary quality control mechanism ensuring that SCAD students are all happy customers.

The SCAD CRAP App allows students to turn-in their professors to the administration in real-time.

Is your professor not giving you enough praise during critique? —Turn-Them-In!

Is your professor not entertaining enough to keep your attention? — Turn-Them-In!

Is your professor assigning an unreasonable amount of work (do you have to read or write something?) —Turn-Them-In!

Students are asked to visit the iTunes store and download the new SCAD CRAP APP today!

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged the SCAD community to support SCAD CRAP APPs by stating:“the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

 

 

Diane von Furstenberg “I Vaguely Remember the SCAD.”

Diane von Furstenberg “I Vaguely Remember the SCAD.”

As we all know, Dear Leader is fond of telling faculty, prospective students, and anyone who will listen about the ‘close personal friendship’ that she holds with Ms. Diane von Furstenberg. Understandably, it came as quite a shock when the SCAD bubble discovered this week that Ms. Diane von Furstenberg, when asked about this special friendship, seemed at a loss.

Diane von Furstenberg claims that she “vaguely remembers the SCAD” and our Dear Leader with her Southern charms. She also said that what she does recall when thinking of “the SCAD” was this: “It was charming and quaint.”

SCAD’s team of crack public relations experts were quick to put a positive spin on Diane von Furstenberg’s commentary by reminding the faithful that ‘vaguely’ denotes ‘lacking definite shape, form or character,’ and that DvF used the word ‘charming’ when referring to our beloved SCAD.

“So what DvF appears to be saying,” said Polly Pinkweather, SCAD’s Director of Image Clarification and Preservation, “Is that DvF’s relationship with Dear Leader is evolving… er… ‘taking form’ if you will.”

SCAD Secrets took the liberty of emailing DvF’s social secretary to ask her about Dear Leader’s close personal friendship with DvF.

We received a prompt response from DvF headquarters:

“Ms. von Furstenberg did receive an award from the SCAD and does indeed recall a conversation with that charming porch lady. We are unable to comment further on the matter.”

SCAD’s fashion department will sleep soundly tonight in the knowledge that Ms. Diane von Furstenberg remembers “the SCAD” and our Dear Leader.

(cue the music)

[photo] Diane von Furstenberg receives an award from “that porch women” our Dear Leader

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader reminded the SCAD community that she has many personal friendships (real and imagined) stating:“the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

 

To Cut Costs: SCAD Replaces University Security with Work-Study Students

SCAD has made a bold cost-cutting move today by firing their team of professional security personnel and replacing them with work-study students.

The innovative plan, appropriately code-named “Students Actively Patrolling” or “SAPs” was the brainchild of Dear Tik’s office of Strategy and Innovation.

“It’s absolutely Innovative—and Strategic!” gushed the Mad Turk, “SCAD saves a bundle, and our students get real-world experience while still in school.

PLUS, and this point can’t be emphasized enough, it’s a great resume builder for our SAPs… er… students!”

SCAD Secrets was unable to contact any of the student SAPs currently on security duty for comment. However, we were told by the exiting security team that because of Savannah’s rising crime rate and SCAD’s conveniently placed buildings (scattered around the city in remote and dark locations), the new SAPs will have their hands full as they become the only barrier between students/faculty and the rest of Savannah.

Each SCAD SAP will receive a tasteful new black and yellow  uniform, to be designed by SCAD’s fashion department and unveiled early Spring quarter.  In addition to the nifty new uniforms, SAPs will also be issued:
1) Sturdy flashlights for patrolling behind buildings and for peering down dark alleys,

2) A thermos of coffee to keep the SAPs alert, and

3) A silver whistle, should the SAPs find themselves outnumbered by local ne’er-do-wells.

We wish SCAD’s SAPs luck as they, and they alone keep SCAD buildings, faculty and fellow students safe from the mean streets of Savannah.

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader gave words of encouragement to the new SCAD SAPs stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Happy Holidays Dear Leader!

Happy Holidays Dear Leader!
SCAD staff fulfilled their yearly contractual obligation of praising all things SCAD with this wonderful christmas card to our Dear Leader.

We at SCAD Secrets were so touched that we had to add our tiny voice to the outpouring of love and admiration for our Dear Leader.

Our Heart-Felt Card

 

Oops! Dear Leader has pulled the original 10 minute video praising herself.. she is so very humble. We love you Dear Leader, for your humility.

The original Dear Leader Card

Happy Holidays from SCAD Secrets!

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to very merry Christmas by stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Dear Leader to Retire in 2015?

Dear Leader to Retire in 2015?

North Savannah News Service announced yesterday that Dear Leader plans to retire and to relinquish her matronly grip on SCAD in 2015.  The Savannah College of Art and Design, an art school that she, her husband, her parents, and her smarter, nicer sister founded in 1979,  rose last year to the distinguished rank 1,248 in student return on investment.  

Dear Leader is expected to pass her Bee Baton to her much beloved, and deeply touched son, Dear Tik.

News of Dear Leader’s retirement was met with gut wrenching wails (and a generous gnashing of teeth) by the SCAD hive of faculty and staff.

SCAD’s supreme stubby queen announced her two year ‘transformation’ from world’s most impressive arts educator to that of budding socialite, a role for which she was born to play.

The Mad Turk wasted no time in releasing an official response to the news on  SCAD radio:

Dear Leader Praised by SCAD Marshal of Faculty Engagement on announcement of Dear Leader’s Retirement:

North Savannah, December 18 (SCAD Radio) — The Mad Turk, SCAD’s Marshal of Faculty Engagement) is deeply saddened on the occasion of the upcoming possible retirement, assuming nothing goes wrong and she really means it this time, of Dear Leader.
(torrents of tears, seas of sadness, oceans of  wails…)
“South Georgian people are praying for the immortality of Dear Leader’s legacy, recollecting her great life, well designed porches, and  with deep emotion,” the Mad Turk said with tears in his eyes, “She devoted herself to our little Coastal empire, Golden Coast Art School. Boundless is the reverence of south Georgians as her life was so great.”

(wait for applause… and)

“Even now, in the streets and alleys of Savannah, SCAD faculty voices are reflecting public mindset—praising the history of the sun.

As proof of Dear Leader’s impact, South Georgian media have devoted much space to conveying her greatness for the past 35 years, carrying the portrait of her with a broad smile on her face through the empty streets, shrimp shacks and low country blues joints.

Posted on the many and much visited websites of south Georgia are articles titled “There is no such great leader in the world as General Dear Leader, who devoted herself to the school and to well designed porches all her life”, “Feats performed by Dear Leader for the SCAD nation will shine long” and “The noble soul of Chairwomen of the National Porch Commission: Dear Leader—the sun of the nation, will always be cherished in the hearts of fellow SCAD faculty.

Songs praising Dear Leader have been widely disseminated among south Georgians. These facts help us to appreciate their reverence for her.

South Georgians yearning for her fuels the ardent trust in feeble-minded Marshal Tik, her son and natural successor.

The vanguard fighters of the Working Class Studio, the SCAD Store and South Georgians will usher in a new era of independent reunification under the leadership of our Dearest Little Tik.”

Marshal Mad Turk,

A proposed theme for the SCAD campus this coming spring will be “Celebrating the Sun, the Handi-Capable Transfer of Power. ”

The distinguished career of Dear Leader will be celebrated with song, clog dancing, rickshaw races, and apple bobbing. Dear Leader’s favorite restaurant, Longhorn Steak House, will cater all administration celebratory events.

SCAD Secrets has created this special page dedicated to the festivities and events that will no doubt awe, inspire, as well as educate the SCAD community as we celebrate, with a heavy heart, the retirement of Dear Leader, the Queen of the South.

 

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to transfer power peacefully by stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

SCAD Museum of Art Broke?

SCAD Museum of Art Broke?

Artist’s allege they haven’t been paid for artworks in over two years.

High above the museum that recently launched the great exhibition: “The Little Black Dress,” the biggest and blackest vultures are now circling. But why the death-watch over SCAD’s new Temple of Art?

A prominent NYC sculptor, who is lovingly referred to as “Our Black Artist” by our Dear Leader hasn’t been paid for his work in over two years. He’s making a lot of noise and his patience is wearing thin. With no respect at all, he is threatening to return to Savannah and remove his work from the SCAD Museum of Art.

Overrun with past-due notices from artists, the SCAD Museum is hoping to renegotiate art purchase contracts by using a slower, more genteel manner of payment.  They are suggesting to each unpaid artist that SCAD “pay on a lay-away art plan.” Their reasoning: SCAD’s graduates spend thirty years paying off their college debt, so why shouldn’t SCAD’s museum do the same?

Furnishing a museum of art using a lay-away plan may keep away those creditors and circling vultures, but scurrilous wags whine that it is not a sustainable solution for an art school that has seen its enrollment drop significantly over the past two years.

The SCAD Museum of Art was created to convince the parents of prospective students that SCAD’s status in the art community is built on solid ground, not as some have suggested, on swampy sand.

“The SCAD Museum is a manifestation of Dear Leader in architectural form!” boasts Mary Anne Tittlebottom, SCAD Museum’s Director of Art Accessions. “It is wider than it is tall, thinning rapidly on top, and, unfortunately, mostly empty.”

In order to fill the SCAD Museum with art that will inspire and educate, Dear Leader has opted forgo any further art buys and just copy those items and artists whom they covet.

One of Dear Leader's favorite paintings.  She has commissioned the SCAD painting department to copy the work in her image.
One of Dear Leader’s favorite paintings. She has commissioned the SCAD painting department to copy the work in her image.

Tittlebottom explains that those works that Dear Leader admires (and finds suitable for the parents of prospective students) “will be slavishly copied, and hung in the museum. This solution saves a lot of money and the burden of paying artists, who would be better off working for Target or Lily Pulitzer, anyways.”

“Our Dear Leader is reinventing museum management, much in the same way she reinvented art education 35 years ago,” gushed the Mad Turk, “By taking other people’s work, and replicating it down here.”

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community not to innovate, but to replicate stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

 

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Dear Leader and Tik to the Rescue!

As the Founder of SCAD and the Discover of SCADentology™—the spiritual path to wealth through University tuition that she discovered while on a youthful meditation retreat in France, Dear Leader’s prophetic legacy is well-known. Yet, with her deep modesty, many of Dear Leader’s other Super-Power strengths and Goddess personae remain a secret—only to be revealed times of global emergency when the earth or SCAD are threatened.

Recently, with the imminent collapse of SCAD’s Hong Kong campus due to “lack of interest,” Dear Leader and her gifted son and appointed heir Tik, could be seen flying over that city’s immense towers and harbors in flowing black and yellow capes. They left in their broomstick wake a dramatic SCAD yellow jet stream painting out the Mandarin characters for the saying: “Damn you Capitalist Interlopers, the Yellow Bee shall outlive your stench!”

From the Mid-Levels to Victoria Peak and outlying islands, millions of Hong Kong’s jaded and art-deprived residents stood awestruck at the return of the long-lost “Shui-Bee”— goddess of facial restoration and the reputed founder of this great city in ancient times.

Accompanied by her son, the puckish mythical figure Tik, Shui-Bee’s emergence to save the city of Hog Kong by saving SCAD, revealed a period of Grave Danger that had just passed and the salvation that was now at hand.

As of this posting, wails of gratitude and celebration echo throughout the hutongs and alleyways of this immense and close-packed city. As more is known and external communication restored, we will provide further updates on Dear Leader’s fight to keep the light of SCAD alive in Asia and throughout the world.

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to help save SCAD Honk Kong by stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Follow us on Tumblr! (before they “abolish” us)

This week we started out Tumblr page!

Our Facebook page has a weekly reach of over 18,562! wow!  Each story has over 500 people talking about it.  We couldn’t have done it without you—thank you dear readers!  I know our Dear Leader is looking down on us and smiling.

Lucky for us, Facebook has not “abolished us!”  We are going strong and building a following… we  now have more followers than SCAD eLearning… look out!

Unfortunately there are some NSFW items we won’t post to Facebook—for those posts you will have to follow us on Tumblr!
Whoot whoot!  Social media here we come!

SCAD Defaults on $32 Million Loan? HK Campus Sinking Ship!

SCAD Hong Kong is a sinking ship. It is being reported in the HK press that SCAD owes an estimated 21 million dollars in back payments on the 32 million dollar investment fronted to the Gold Coast Art School by the HK Development Agency.

News agencies in HK are reporting that the HK Development Agency will decide later this year (2013/14) whether or not to “recover” its $32,000,000 investment in SCAD’s Hong Kong campus by “reclaiming” the building.

Local HK business leaders are blaming a “serious lack of interest” in the low country art school as the primary cause for SCAD’s failure to pay its debts. Current SCAD HK enrollment appears to be 35% of what was estimated three years ago.

In order to make sure there are some warm bodies in the building, SCAD has resorted to exporting students from her struggling Savannah and Atlanta campuses. “Without those students here,” a friend close to Dear Leader told us, “this place would be a ghost town—the SCAD Hong Kong campus is sinking—fast!”

Captain Schettino, Tik and Dear Leader Meet to discuss escape plans from sinking ships.
Captain Schettino, Tik and Dear Leader Meet to discuss HK escape plans.

In response to the descending fortunes of the SCAD HK campus, SCAD has hired ‘Sinking Ship’ expert, Captain Francesco Schettino, of the Italian cruse ship The Costa Concordia.

As SCAD secrets readers may recall, Captain Schettino capsized the Concordia off the coast of Italy last January, and famously “tripped off the sinking ship into a lifeboat.”

“We could really use his expertise right now,” said the Mad Turk from an undisclosed location off Bull Street, “Dear Leader needs a lifeboat to fall into, and Captain Schettino is just the man to show her where to fall.”

SCAD has four months before the Honk Kong Development Agency makes its decision, we wish Dear Leader a quick landing into a soft lifeboat.

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to put women and children first when escaping their personal sinking ships by stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

SCAD Administration: Dungeons and Online Cruising!?!

Who the hell is running SCAD Hong Kong and why are there (supposedly) naked photos of him posted on a well-trafficked online cruising sites?

If true… It must have been awkward the first few times an actual HK SCAD student showed up at his flat in the middle of the night? Very awkward indeed… but a convenient strategy for maintaining student retention numbers!

The rumors among HK SCAD students is that Old Boy hangs a bit to the left— that is a lie—we have always know him to be very centered— especially when he is rehearsing his poses in the mens room mirror.

Is it true that SCAD has a long and sorted history of ‘naughty naughty’ between students and administration? Please tell us that isn’t a ‘perk’ of the job!

(We at SCAD secrets do not believe a word of it)

More rumors are flying around about the former SCAD Dean of Building Arts… too many to verify… guess we will have to wait till the lawsuit so one can take advantage of the liberal discovery rules and the we will all get to the ‘bottom’ of it.

The Rumor so far: A certain SCAD Dean had a mutual “master slave’ relationship with a former SCAD student that turned into a “not-so-mutual master slave relationship” when the former SCAD student escaped the Dean’s “dungeon.”

Former SCAD student supposedly escaped to Dear Leader’s office with photographic evince of master/slave relationship… off-campus. For the protection of the student, SCAD security (allegedly) placed listening bugs under former student’s couch.

Whoa! Can it get any better?!?

This begs the question… Given our Master Dean’s extensive architectural knowledge, one wonders what historic style, if any, was employed in the design of his dungeon?

Guess we will have to wait till someone is sued so we can take advantage of the liberal discovery rules and get to the ‘bottom’ of it.

Dear Leader addressed concerns over bondage in building arts and naughty naughty in ol’Hong Kong from her porch at the Landings saying: “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

IRS vs. SCAD: Apocalyptic Lunacy!


If “The End” of integrity at SCAD is this much fun, then bring it on! Dear Leader is the host of the party that spirals into IRS chaos – quite literally – when the Internal Revenue Service comes to Savannah and swallows up a bunch of SCAD Administrators in a post apocalyptic audit!

The film opens with Dear Leader on the chopping block. The IRS is reviewing Dear Leader’s spa bill (that exceeded $278,000 in 2012). Chaos ensues as the SCAD administration shreds the evidence, tries to escape on the SCAD jet for an overnight shopping trip to NYC, and culminates with the Mad Turk’s money fight at the SCAD equestrian center.

A must see for the SCAD parents—who—after all, have been footing the bill for this ‘coastal empire’ low country debauchery all these years!

Paula Wallace, John Paul Rowan

 


All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.