Top-level personnel are disappearing from the SCAD campus and the mismanagement of funds is being blamed for the exodus. From the Dear Leader’s Chief of Staff to the SCAD Corporate Counsel. Those close to the internal turmoil have suggested to SCAD Secrets that perhaps financial shenanigans masterminded by Dear Leader’s beard, Glen Angora may be the source of the mass exodus. “No one wants to get caught holding the hot potato” claims a former personal aid to our Dear Leader.

This would not be the first time that Mr. Angora has been accused of creative accounting. Not long ago SCAD Secrets readers will remember the Great Student Center —Equestrian Center debacle in which Glen Angora took the fall for misdirection’ of funds for the Student Center.

What makes the current financial crisis different is that is the cause for so many gifted administrators with institutional knowledge to resign in large numbers—leaving our Dear Leader vulnerable to what insiders call “the whims of those with little to no higher education leadership skill sets.” Critics make the point that there are only so many film professors that Dear Leader can elevate to administrative positions.

The mass exodus of professors and members of the SCAD administration have also heavily taxed the resources of SCAD’s HR department who, we are told, have more job openings than any other university in the country.

In order to provide a short-term solution to the faculty shortage, SCAD service employees are being encouraged, to take a look at SCADJOBS.COM to see if there are any additional positions they feel comfortable adding to their already busy SCAD schedules.

It is feared that with sinking enrollment numbers, and the launch of the new SCADlite™ outlet mall campuses, Dear Leader will be to distracted by internal resignations and external investigations to expertly guide the SCAD ship into safer harbors.

Dear Leader spoke to the issue of the SCAD brain drain from her porch in the Landings stating, “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Payscale.com announced today that a SCAD degree ranks 1,248 out of 1,248. Which makes it number one (far above the Art Institutes International, Strayer, and Phoenix University) as the worst return on investment among American colleges. Dear Leader was quick to draw attention to SCAD’s newest mention in the national press by holding a small get-together at the Gryphondor Tea Room to celebrate her university’s latest distinction.

“I can’t believe we finally beat the Art Institute!” said SCAD’s newest public relations work-study student Taffy Licoricestick, “I feel so lucky to be part of a university that is number 1 in something!—I just can’t tell you.”

Payscale’s full story can be found here

Known for her impeccable southern-style hospitality, Dear Leader surprised everyone with a command performance by the SCAD drum corps, who entertained revelers throughout the early morning gathering with highlights from Wagner’s ‘The Flying Dutchman.’

The celebration is expected to continue throughout the day, free refreshments and finger food will be provided.

The Gryphondor Tea Room is located directly across the street from Dear Leader’s Armory and the SCAD Welcome Center at 337 Bull Street.

From her porch in the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged all members of the SCAD community to celebrate SCAD’s latest distinction. “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

SCAD’s public relations machine was thrown into full gear Friday when a mystery blog critical of Dear Leader was discovered by staff members close to her holiness.

“This is an emergency—an all hands on deck emergency!” snapped Hyacinth Bucket, SCAD Director of Public Relations, “We must protect the SCAD Brand Promise at all costs! We must protect the SCAD Brand Promise at all costs! We must protect the SCAD Brand Promise at all costs!”

Fresh from a trip to visit her Chinese counterpart, Cliquey Karmickle, Director SCAD Networking Services, sprung into action by creating the Great SCAD Firewall which will ban all offending websites from being accessed by SCAD computers. When the Great SCAD Firewall is completed later this week—students, faculty and staff will no longer be able to access any offending blog from a SCAD network— users requests will be redirected to a site of haiku’s written about Dear Leader’s intellectual and business prowess.

SCAD Secrets attempted to contact owners of the offending blog, but as of Saturday night, they have not been seen by family and or loved ones and are presumed to be in hiding.

Dear Leader spoke to the importance of censoring blogs that contradict the ‘SCAD Brand Promise’ from her porch in the Landings, “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

According to IRS form 990 (2010 tax year), SCAD paid over 5 million (USD) in legal fees. What is going on here? Our crack team of investigative reporters are on the case. We suspect that perhaps the legal bills relate to activity in Hong Kong. Hyacinth Bucket, SCAD’s newly appointed director of public relations, told SCAD Secrets “We are currently reviewing some rather lovely travel brochures from the QEII and as such do not have the time to comment on such a frivolous matters.”

We at SCAD Secrets were curious how much money other privately held art schools spend on their lawyers, so we headed over to www.Guidestar.com and ran a quick search (it is a free service). RISD spent around 800k on construction, 300k on computer services and 500k on financial services, MICA spent 2 million on food service (boy do MICA students eat a ton!). Bottom line, neither school spent enough on legal fees to list them on the IRS 990 form. 

Take a look for yourself at www.guidestar.com,who said tax returns were not fun to read—especially when they are not yours!

Dear Leader addressed concerns over the release of SCAD’s tax returns from her porch at the Landings stating: “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way