Category Archives: Truth or Fiction

As Mark Twain said “Truth is strange than fiction.” These are edited, and who knows, partially fictionalized (to protect the innocent) SCAD stories.

Dear Leader Adventures, Featured, In the news, Information, Truth or Fiction

IRS Audits Savannah College of Art and Design!

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SCAD NEEDS YOUR HELP as Government Thugs Invade Savannah Campus!
Savanah College of Art and Design (SCAD) has been invaded by the IRS. A loathsome group of Federal Bureaucrats are auditing SCAD over alleged “financial irregularities” and “misappropriation” of tuition dollars.

Calling All Bees!
The IRS is a formidable foe. The IRS agents have managed to tape together documents faster than SCAD has been able to shred them.

SCAD has issued plea to all SCAD BEES “Return to Savannah!” and help SCAD in the shredding of incriminating documents.

What is at STAKE?
We must preserve” SCAD’s alleged tradition of using student tuition money in any way they see fit.

Traditions like:

  1. Paying our Dear Leader $250,000.00 a month.
  2. Gifting free flights to France and NYC on private aircraft for SCAD Board members, their friends, and their families,
  3. Paying millions to the Dear Leader’s children, her ’husband,’ her special ‘lady friend’ and her extended family,
  4. Keeping Dear Leader in Louis Vuitton clogs, custom wigs, and facial surgery upkeep,
  5. The hiring of private investigators to gather negative intel on “rouge” faculty and administrators,
  6. Paying for the off-site storage to house negative intel files of “rouge” faculty and administrator (see #5),
    and;
  7. Supporting Dear Leader’s addle-brained son, Tik with a $25,00.00 a month salary.

These are a few of the perks that must be hidden in order to preserve SCAD’s unique and special culture.

Savannah College of Art and Design IRS Audit

 

 

This is EVERY BEE’s Emergency! (the Acorns have nothing to worry about)
Current students have a huge financial stake in outcome of this investigation.

Any fines levied against SCAD by the IRS might be raised through tuition increases and additional student fees.

All BEE paper-shredding volunteers are asked to report to Lai Wa Hall (after nightfall) Monday-Friday.

SCAD 2013 Compensation

 

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

In the news, Truth or Fiction

SCAD to eliminate sculpture for being too “Twelfth Century”

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Passme Spliff, Dean of the School of Fine Arts announced today that the SCAD sculpture department will be slowly phased out due to its poor integration into the e-learning campus. “We really have to start thinking 21 century,” Dean Passme Spliff said “Sculpture is just so twelfth century.”

Persons close to Dear Leader told SCAD Secrets that the sculpture department was on the chopping block because the department has not yet found any lucrative corporate sponsorship opportunities. An accusation Dean Spliff vehemently denies “We are streamlining our programs to to fit into our new Adobe Partnerships, and currently, Adobe has not introduced sculpture into its CS6 line of products.”

Old timers at SCAD tell SCAD Secrets off the record that the sculpture department phase-out is due in large part to its refusal to develop an online component for the SCAD elearning campus. They point to elearning as the primary source of Dear Leader’s personal wealth, power as well as SCAD’s tremendous financial growth over the past seven years. “We can’t create an online version of our program,” said recently dismissed sculpture chair Mike Angelo, “That is why they are eliminating our department.”

Muffy Milktoast, SCAD’s Institutional Advancement Director denies claims that sculpture online cannot be exactly the same as an on-ground course: “We have managed to squeeze all of our programs into the online space rather comfortably thank-you.”

Ms. Milktoast points to the upcoming launch of SCAD’s new online equestrian program (complete with virtual boarding for students’ horses) as proof that SCAD understands the online learning formula. “Beginning in winter quarter we will launch our online equestrian studies program, and all signs seem to point to its overwhelming success.”

SCAD Secrets will continue to follow this story as it develops.

Dear Leader spoke to the importance of maintaining programs that complement SCAD’s new  Adobe Creative Suite 6 partnership from her porch in the Landings stating, “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it is not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.

Truth or Fiction

CLC: There’s Gold in Them Thar Hills

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Its a simple concept, and one that Ayn Rand’s would approve of, it is called Collaborative Learning, and its the brightest star in town at SCAD.  Collaborative Learning consists of private industry proposing a project,and paying SCAD to implement the key components of the project while the SCAD students pay SCAD for the privilege of working on it.

Private industry executive Jesus Henry Christo (JHC) of  the Christian fast food chain, Yard Bird FIll-e-tte, told SCAD Secrets that “the  process has strengthened (the) students understanding of our industry, our belief system, lifestyle choices and prayers, and (the students) appreciate the experience all the more because they paid for it.”  When asked if his company was planning on hiring any SCAD students who worked on the project, JHC was quick to answer “If they are straight and married—heck yes.”

Students paying for the privilege of working on a project seems to be the recipe of SCAD institutional success.  “We find students are clamoring to be included in these joint ventures” says Where’s Waldo, newly appointed Director of the Collaborative Learning Center, “The students pay $3,000 each, and the clients pays us for the work the students produce—it’s a win win for us, and the students get a lovely portfolio piece they might be able to use after their non-disclosure agreements have expired.”

Each quarter Where’s Waldo visits classrooms to offer invitations to students to join the CLC for a ritual ‘unveiling’ of next quarter’s CLC projects. “You have to stage an event to create some buzz and competition among the student body” Waldo said to SCAD Secrets, “You have to make it sound exclusive, otherwise why would students pay $3,000 to work on the project?”

SCAD’s commitment to collaborative projects has brought in more than money for the small southern art school,  just last month Yard Bird FIll-e-tte announced that in exchange for student participation in this years collaboration project, Yard Bird FIll-e-tte will assume all food service contracts for SCAD student housing for one year.  MMMMMM, deep fried yard bird for breakfast, lunch and dinner— the eating’s good at Savannah College of Art and Design.

Dear Leader spoke about her commitment to providing collaborative learning experiences for SCAD students from her porch in the Landings by stating, “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on SCADSECRETS.com are parodies.  All content on SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.