Dear Leader Paula Wallace

SCAD Fall 2012 Faculty Pageant: Mares and Fares!

Dear leader Paula Wallace
Fall 2012 Faculty Pageant Show: Mares and Fares!

Report of the Fall 2012 Faculty Pageant In Which Fashion, Fibers, photography and Equestrian Studies were Honored.

By Faculty Junior Reporter, Tina Tinyvoice (of Pooh Corner)

Fall quarter faculty meeting is a rare opportunity for the faculty and staff to demonstrate their respect and admiration for the school, its founders, and of course the people who make it all possible: student loan providers.

After a rousing introduction from the Mad Turk that touted the fantastic accomplishments of Photography, Fibers and Fashion- the backbone of a solid curriculum of a world renown ART college- we were also treated to the accolades of two other very important, integral elements of our beloved school: Mares and Fares.

Equestrian studies was lauded and applauded for their world record performance, for the fifth year is a row no less, too bad no one from that department chose to stand (or attend) the meeting to accept their warm and heartfelt cheers, or the random snickering when their academic equals—the real artists- realized they were being spurned.

Next to follow the adulation of the Mad Turk, et al. was the courageous chef du jour for SCAD eateries. The Mad Turk announced a tantalizing new menu of “sustainable” eatery, all this in front of a wonderful tableaux of red potatoes and parsley that brought back memories of the “all you can eat breakfast buffet” fashionable after a hard night of the after-hour party. Apparently the head chef was busy preparing all the good eats for the food vouchers that were promised to come.

Dear Leader’s address continued the affirmation of SCAD’s standing as a leader in Art and Design with heart warming reminiscence and homage of her mothers work and the sale of Dear Leader’s own beloved yellow Volkswagen beetle receiving equal billing as the seminal financial support for our little school in the swamp. As usual, the inspiring speech brought the faculty to their feet. It didn’t hurt that all the faculty was asked to stand either, why quibble over details? In further impress the adoring crowd was caught up in an eloquent countdown wherein as the years of service went up, the faculty was asked to sit.

This didn’t take as long as you might think. In the end, with a recognized service of 25 years, about a half-dozen brave and staid veterans remained… all in the front row. Proof that tenure isn’t necessary for employee retention.

Following Dear Leader was the new Chair of Advertising, an articulate fellow that with a self-proclaimed resume boasting a successful career in the profession practically groveled at the honor bestowed him on accepting his new position. Our new Advertising chair provided a brief glance at the strategic plan for SCAD2020: Quality, Community, Identity and Fortitude: (QUEEF)….. say it fast…is that plural for something? Nothing but sheer brilliance is on the horizon for 2020.

The next two speakers were pretty good – probably because they have little to do with the administration.

The Keynote address was inspiring. One distinct moment of pleasure was where the eloquence of defining the difficulty in getting to one building to another on our little diverse campus was quickly phrased as a “Personalizing Experience” the new vanguard of a performance economy. I always thought that what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.

He probably won’t be asked back… should of asked Jonah anyway… what’s a little lying among friends.
Blissfully the two hours flew by and poor VPAS barely got to dismiss the crowd before half were already out the door.

Food vouchers for all! hurrah!


All stories on are parodies.  All content on is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.