Paula Wallace poses for sculpture

Dear Leader to Unveil Statue to Herself: Poem Written in Honor of Event

Paula Wallace SCAD Statue to herself
Photo of Dear Leader’s statue that will welcome sailors as they enter the Savannah harbor

Dear Leader will unveil a statue designed by herself and dedicated to her short, stubby and impressive educational legacy.

Dear Leader personally designed the statue which will be carved in marble by SCAD sculpture faculty (under the careful supervision of the Mad Turk).

The new statue will be placed at the Port of Savannah—welcoming sailors to Savannah’s shores.

Special precautions will be put into place to ensure that ‘randy sailors’ do not ‘interfere’ with Dear Leaders visage.

In honor of the unveiling, SCAD resident poet and Dear Leader’s cousin Percy “Big Daddy” Shelly wrote a laudatory poem celebrating Dear Leader’s  statue as it will be remembered 1,000 years from now.

I met a sailor from a southern land
Who said: “Two vast and stubby legs of stone
Squat in the swamp. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And Botox lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear —
“My name is Dear Leader, queen of queens:
Look on my educational legacy, ye Art Institutes, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level swamps of the low country stretch far away.

Paula Wallace poses for sculpture
Dear Leader takes time out of her busy schedule to pose for the SCAD faculty sculptor of her latest monument to herself

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to honor her legacy through poetry and sculpture stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on are parodies.  All content on is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.