Dear Leader readies herself to unveil to 2013 Faculty Contract

Cost-Cutting and Two-Quarter Contracts: Fall 2013 Faculty Contract Preview

Dear Leader readies herself to unveil to 2013 Faculty Contract
Dear Leader readies herself unveil to 2013 Faculty Contract

Lai Wai Hall is busy putting the final touches onto next year’s faculty contracts.  Full-time faculty will be pleased to note that their adjunct colleagues are being phased out with a proposed $1,000 per class pay cut and the replacement of yearly contract terms with quarterly contract terms.  Students are expected to benefit most from this change and should expect to see an upwards rise in their average GPA, as student satisfaction will determine faculty’s chances of contract renewal.

Increased Class Sizes

Full-time Faculty will see a modest increase in class sizes from the current 15-20 to a mandatory 23-25 student cap for each class. Next year will see two-quarter contracts (instead of yearly contracts) with a review process after the second quarter.

SCAD faculty is some of the best and brightest in the industry— it would be selfish to deny students the opportunity to study under their tutelage.  Dear Leader has, in her infinite wisdom, decided to make SCAD faculty more available to students by raising the cap once again from 15 to 23.

Continuous Faculty Reviews

SCAD faculty are hungry for feedback on their classroom effectiveness.  Dear Leader and the Mad Turk are listening.  Contract renewals will be at the sole discretion of the Deans (and student reviews).  Full-time faculty are advised to keep their student satisfaction numbers up, the higher they are, the better chances one’s two-quarter contract will be renewed for two more quarters.

As a student-centric institution, faculty will be reminded every two quarters just how important handing out ‘A’s really is to their continued employment at SCAD.

In the future, as SCAD’s grade inflation and treatment of faculty become more widely known, re-accreditation will be assured.

Mandatory E-Learning Course Development Provision: (A SCAD Faculty resume builder)

Full-time faculty will now be required to write e-learning courses, when asked, as part of their ‘School Service’ requirement.  SCAD is attempting to limit the number of contracts it drafts each year. Eliminating the need to draft a separate contract for writing an online course (and to eliminate the paperwork needed to pay faculty for writing new courses) the Mad Turk has determined that SCAD will do away with course writing contracts and reimbursement for course authorship altogether.

On the upside, faculty will have an additional item to put on their resume in their search for more rewarding and profitable positions.

Five-Course Load

Still in consideration is the proposed five course-load per quarter. More on this as it develops.

Anti-Bullying Provision

Dear Leader is appalled by the ‘thuggery’ that is currently taking place online in the ‘ blog-that-shall-not-be-named’ critical of her leadership and the competency of her offspring.

Dear Leader has decided to draw a line in the sand— anyone who contributes to this vile blog, laughs at stories found within this blog, or considers starting a blog of their own will be summarily dismissed from SCAD.  To that end, a strict “anti-bullying of SCAD administrators” provision will be added to the new faculty contract.

“It is high time these ‘tattlers, and misanthropes are silenced!” said the Mad Turk from his office in an undisclosed location deep with the bowls of SCAD’s Savannah campus, “We must protect all members of the SCAD community from abuse, and that protection will start at the top.”

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to accept their new contractual terms stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on are parodies.  All content on is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.