Will SCAD Close Hong Kong 2015? Accused Buying & Selling Credentials?

Double Trouble! Is it True?!? SCAD Accused of Buying Awards and Rankings—and the Award-Winning Hong Kong Campus May be Doomed!

The Greenaway Group, one of the design industry’s leaders in vanity publications and awards, is a trusted “consultant” for SCAD in promoting its burgeoning Savannah and Hong Kong campuses. Recently, SCAD’s loyal supporters were enraged to learn of accusations that their beloved school was bribing its way into faculty awards and higher academic rankings.

“These wild accusations could not be farther from the truth,” Hyacinth Bucket, SCAD’s director of Public Relations shot back to this reporter in a phone interview. “SCAD has always…and always will earn its awards and recognitions the old-fashioned way—through highly-paid promotional consultants, membership in sycophantic professional associations such as the AIA and AIGA, and strategic PAC donations to political candidates.”

But, in this moss-draped city, there remain whispered rumors that SCAD may not just be paying someone for its “rankings” but, even more ominously, that SCAD’s Hong Kong campus will close in 2015 due to lack of interest, authentic academic standing…and students.

Awards Bought and Sold

Scurrilous wags assert that the pseudo-pub DesignIntelligence and the Greenaway Group (which quietly owns it under the guise of vanity design-club, the “Design Futures Council”) are mired in conflicts of interest. Greenaway is a consultant to design industries and for-profit art schools. Their vanity pub, DesignIntelligence seems to hand out awards in strong correlation hiring Greenaway.

Sorrowful cynics have accused SCAD of “buying” its DesignIntelligence award for Hong Kong along with other Greenaway-based teaching awards for such luminaries as The Lady Dean Victoria, award-winning transvestite and Dean of SCAD’s School of Design.

These sad scallywags are looking into Greenaway Group and its pseudo-academic publications to ask: What is this DesignIntelligence publication that is naming SCAD administrators and professors “In the top 25 in the country” and SCAD as the “Best interior design school” in the country?

Surely, they wonder, there must be some mistake.

How could such a thing happen? How could well-meaning design-business consultants lure a new client in such as a large mediocre midwestern architecture firm or for-profit university such as SCAD and bill them extensively for “institutional research” and marketing strategy?

How could their Design Futures Council club and pseudo-pub, DesignIntelligence, then present them with design awards! That’s not right!

Could It Be True?

Rumor has it that SCAD, suffering form abysmal rankings and general disdain by nonprofit, independent foundations, decided that a few vanity awards and kudos from a pseudo-pub could help.

Such is the unthinkable theory now being whispered along the moss-draped streets of Savannah’s and in quiet tones on porches at the Landings—the Gated Community where Dear Leader her son and anointed heir Tik have lived for decades.

Another Shocker: Selling Degrees

As if buying awards and rankings weren’t enough, detractors have even gone so far as to accuse SCAD of selling degrees—its life-blood and reason for existence, other than profit.

According to disgruntled Ex-professor Houeix, SCAD was in the regular business of “selling degrees” in the 1990s. (Link has been updated) If only they had a “way-back machine” SCAD detractors would love to get their greedy hands on that evidence—yet, that won’t happen. The case was settled “out of court” after Dear Leader was called for a deposition. Case Closed.

The Final Blow: Selling the Hong Kong Campus

In our next installment, we will ask how, with its great success and reputation, how can the Hong Kong campus possibly close in 2015? How absurd can rumors get?

—What would become of Hong Kong’s founder and President, the wunderkind, Trigger Tik?

—Could he find new purpose?

—Would he fight his mother in an epic battle to keep his Asian pup and colony alive and ready for new awards?

—And what about that buried deposition over allegedly selling SCAD degrees?

Stay tuned friends of SCAD. Dear Leader’s fight is your fight too.

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to accept the closing of SCAD Hong Kong in 2015 stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies.  All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.