SCAD Museum of Art Broke?

SCAD Museum of Art Broke?

Artist’s allege they haven’t been paid for artworks in over two years.

High above the museum that recently launched the great exhibition: “The Little Black Dress,” the biggest and blackest vultures are now circling. But why the death-watch over SCAD’s new Temple of Art?

A prominent NYC sculptor, who is lovingly referred to as “Our Black Artist” by our Dear Leader hasn’t been paid for his work in over two years. He’s making a lot of noise and his patience is wearing thin. With no respect at all, he is threatening to return to Savannah and remove his work from the SCAD Museum of Art.

Overrun with past-due notices from artists, the SCAD Museum is hoping to renegotiate art purchase contracts by using a slower, more genteel manner of payment.  They are suggesting to each unpaid artist that SCAD “pay on a lay-away art plan.” Their reasoning: SCAD’s graduates spend thirty years paying off their college debt, so why shouldn’t SCAD’s museum do the same?

Furnishing a museum of art using a lay-away plan may keep away those creditors and circling vultures, but scurrilous wags whine that it is not a sustainable solution for an art school that has seen its enrollment drop significantly over the past two years.

The SCAD Museum of Art was created to convince the parents of prospective students that SCAD’s status in the art community is built on solid ground, not as some have suggested, on swampy sand.

“The SCAD Museum is a manifestation of Dear Leader in architectural form!” boasts Mary Anne Tittlebottom, SCAD Museum’s Director of Art Accessions. “It is wider than it is tall, thinning rapidly on top, and, unfortunately, mostly empty.”

In order to fill the SCAD Museum with art that will inspire and educate, Dear Leader has opted forgo any further art buys and just copy those items and artists whom they covet.

One of Dear Leader's favorite paintings.  She has commissioned the SCAD painting department to copy the work in her image.
One of Dear Leader’s favorite paintings. She has commissioned the SCAD painting department to copy the work in her image.

Tittlebottom explains that those works that Dear Leader admires (and finds suitable for the parents of prospective students) “will be slavishly copied, and hung in the museum. This solution saves a lot of money and the burden of paying artists, who would be better off working for Target or Lily Pulitzer, anyways.”

“Our Dear Leader is reinventing museum management, much in the same way she reinvented art education 35 years ago,” gushed the Mad Turk, “By taking other people’s work, and replicating it down here.”

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community not to innovate, but to replicate stating: “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”


All stories on are parodies. All content on is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.