In one of her most important initiatives since the founding of the Center for Equestrian Studies, SCAD’s Dear Leader announced to investors her plan to found a new storefront brand, SCADlite™ in outlet malls across the US and Canada. Standing at her side as she announced the new school from her porch at the Landings was the Sue Anne Nivens, one of SCAD’s renowned professors, who will serve as Dean of the new cut-rate school.
Nivens’ ascent to a star professorship in Culinary Arts at SCAD began in the 1970s with her daytime cooking show—“Cooking with Sue Anne”—at WJM-TV in Minneapolis. From there, she moved on to higher education as curriculum designer for culinary arts courses at the for-profit Art Institutes International, one of SCAD’s vastly inferior imitators.
In 1991, she came Savannah to serve as our Dear Leader’s personal chef and Director of Special Events Catering, SCAD’s second largest department by budget, after Administration. Under her catering leadership, Nivens quickly grew celebrated for her “Minnesota Hot Dishes in all Seasons.”
The Mad Turk, SCAD’s Chief Financial Officer happily recalls his first encounter with Nivens’ hot dish wonders at one of Dear Leader’s corporate sponsorship parties at her home in the Landings. “Here it was 98 degrees with a humidity level to match and Sue Anne delivers this crock pot buffet that just blew everyone away. Who knew that a tuna-smelt fish casserole could be so amazing in the summer?”
Dear Leader, who is a master chef herself in the culinary arts of her native central Georgia, was also suitably impressed. So impressed that she elevated Ms. Nivens to serve as the founding Dean for SCADlite. “We see her cable television products and e-learning roll-outs as the perfect model for what SCADlite can become,” Dear Leader said in her announcement.
“Sue Anne’s online cooking courses complement SCAD’s culture of popular outreach and even brings in Asians!” The Mad Turk adds. “At our Hong Kong campus, her online course, ‘Wontons for Westerners and WASPs,’ is winning over tens of thousands of new student-customers.”
The Mad Turk goes on to praise Ms. Nivens’ multi-cultural culinary range. “Her Turkish Delights and baklava amuses-bouches are a superb blending of the ancient tastes of my own country and Lutefisk. This is precisely the curricular model that we plan to achieve with SCADlite…”
Creative blendings of e-learning and pre-packaged curriculum are the core promise of the new school. “SCADlite: E-Learning off the Rack” will become the new brand-identifier—quite appropriate for the learning stores’ outlet mall settings.
SCAD’s leaders believe that opening storefronts in fast-growing outlet malls will bring the magic of SCAD and a glimmer of SCADentology™ to underserved but hopeful professionals who lack the $50,000 annual costs to attend SCAD’s couture brand, The Savannah College of Art and Design
“They still have a Dream though,” Dean Nivens observes. Asked if this expansion into the outlet store market might dilute SCAD’s core brand and potential re-sale value, Nivens momentarily lapses into her hilarious television bitchiness from her days at WJM-TV. “At SCAD, it’s never been about the marketing or the money! Oh no. It’s about the learning….” And then she adds, showing her true warmth and wit,”…and I guess you could also say that it’s also about the Lutefisk….”
From her porch in the Landings, Dear Leader urged all members of the SCAD community to promote SCADlite in any way they can. “The highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”
All stories on www.SCADSECRETS.com are parodies. All content on www.SCADSECRETS.com is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it is not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a university of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.
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