Paula Wallace SCAD Cosmetic Surgery, A Redneck with a pocketbook?

Dear Leader’s Top 3 Tips for Recovering from Plastic Surgery

As a world leader whose face is the brand and symbol of SCAD, Dear Leader preserves this important asset with regular cosmetic surgery.

Recently returned from a quick round of Thanksgiving facial reconstructive work at her retreat spa in Charleston, Dear Leader generously shared these tips that can help any patient recover from elective cosmetic “maintenance.”

Be Realistic

Depending on what procedure you’re having, there can be a variety of outcomes depending on your goals. It’s important for patients to know that when having cosmetic surgery, there will be mild pain involved.  Having gone through this sacrificial plastic surgery for the benefit of SCAD several times, Dear Leader is easily up to the job. With her inner strength she has the powers to overcome pain that most of us can only imagine.

Be Patient

Most patients tend to become bored, antsy and start to do things around the house that they are not supposed to do like housework, vacuuming, gardening, exercising etc…. Any major physical activity can potentially hinder your healing. Fortunately, with her cadre of gardeners, house cleaners, and acolytes from the Fashion and Photography departments, Dear Leader has not engaged in any physical activity for several decades. We can be assured that, in recovery from any treatment, she will never have to lift a finger…. or an eyebrow, so to speak.

Dear Leader recommends that: “even though you are bored, use your recovery as time to learn a new language, catch up on some reading or start that challenging puzzle that you’ve been meaning to work on.  By keeping your mind busy and letting your body rest, you will heal faster and before you know it, you will be enjoying your new fabulous look!”

Dear Leader will spend her period of convalescence guiding the renovation plans for SCAD’s aging buildings that her own facial renovation, by its symbolic inspiration for donors, will help to fund. She will also complete her new book on ‘South Georgian Entertaining’ along with a definitive history on the founding of SCADentology(tm).

Don’t Obsess

Dear Leader, of course, has never obsessed about anything such as faculty work loads, and professional development opportunities, her weight, or “secret” websites created by disgruntled faculty and former administrators.

With her serene reserve, she never exhibits any outward anxiety or anger acted out through pounding conference tables with both fists or excoriating staff with cries of “Make them stop!” Never. Thus, worry over her mood and appearance in recovery, even on days when there may be swelling or puss from familial grafting, is something far beneath her.

Unlike Dear Leader, less-experienced plastic surgery patients are excited to see their results right away. Yet, wrapped in jasmine-scented towels on her Porch at the Landings, Dear Leader explains that when the body recovers from cosmetic surgery it behaves much like her faculty, by  swelling unevenly. “There can be lumps, bumps, bruises and ooze.  It can be quite unnerving to see yourself recovering and it can mentally take a toll on you.  But if you can stay strong, you will heal faster and better than ever.”

Rather than fret about their appearance, Dear Leader advises that cosmetic surgery patients cover up all mirrors during the recovery period. Dear Leader has always pursued this approach and then…when the healing is complete, she’s ready for her close-up and all mirrors can then be returned to SCAD’s buildings, bathrooms, and official rickshaws.

From her porch at the Landings, Dear Leader encouraged members of the SCAD community to time out to recover over this winter break and reminded everyone that “the highest and best use of a front porch is to enable and encourage the art of conversation. We entertain ourselves with stories on the porch. We invite people in. We sit. We visit.”

All stories on are parodies.  All content on is fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. This site and the content contained within it are not affiliated with the Savannah College of Art & Design, a University of creative careers founded by Ms. Paula Wallace who is practically perfect in every way.